You've Asked A Hard Thing Lord!

FMH Children’s Club International
–– A Company Of Prophets ––
P.O. Box 640109
El Paso, TX 79904

The following letter-form was brought about as a means of teaching my children the Word of God through the mail. And of course, quite naturally so, that’s the reason I begin these letters with "Dear Children" and end them with "Love Dad". So for the rest of you who participate in these weekly messages, please keep their original intended purpose in mind.

12 December, 2004

Dear Children,

So what did you think about Life Through The Flesh And Blood Of Jesus! (11/28/04)? Well, without a doubt, that sermonet got “hate mail” like never before! In fact why not check out a few of the “legalistic comments” posted at the end of that message. We added them just so everybody can see how “law addicts” react when you try to take away their “fix”. I mean after all, the hate mail only came about because we spoke the Truth concerning “The Law of Jesus” replacing “the law of Moses”! But then again, the comments we posted on that sermonet were mild in comparison to some that we didn’t publish. And looking back in retrospect, the following New Testament Commandment of Jesus (The Law) has become even more “real” to me through one of those e-mails that we didn’t publish:

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:12-13 KJV)

In other words it was through the “Words of correction” that the Almighty commanded me to “speak” to my “legalistic friend” Sister Karla, (in an attempt to save her everlasting life I might add), that a very real threat was made on my life. And of course it’s because of Jesus’ very tough command in the preceding Scripture, along with our FMHCCI motto “All For The Love Of Jesus”, that I must be willing to give my life in order to rescue my “friends” who’re caught-up in the bewitching powers of Satan. In fact the Scripture from John 15:12-13 not only applies to me personally, but also to anybody and everybody professing the Name of Jesus!

Now having said all that, it should be a little easier to understand why we’ve entitled this week’s message “You’ve Asked A Hard Thing Lord!” Because seeing how this just so happens to be part II of our sermonet series “Eat My Flesh And Drink My Blood!”, it goes without saying that there’s bunches of “legalistic Christians” out there who find the Old Testament “law” much easier to chew, swallow, and digest than “The Law” of the New Testament…which even included a few of Jesus’ very own disciples:

“Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me. This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever. These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum. Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it? When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you? What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before? It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father. From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?” (John 6:53-67 KJV)

So what’s so hard about “eating the Flesh, and drinking the Blood of Jesus”? I mean why do so many Christians kick, scream, and outright rebel against consuming this “Word, that’s actually Spirit, that gives everlasting Life” to the Believer? Just why is it that multitudes of “Christians” will choose “legalism” (obedience to the Old Testament laws), and the resulting “everlasting fiery death”, instead of “life everlasting” through the “Living Word of Jesus” (obedience to the New Testament Law)?

Well, through the grace of God, I pray that by the time this sermonet is over and done with you will have grabbed hold of the Truth concerning this very hard to understand concept of “eating His Flesh and drinking His Blood”. In fact the place we’re going to start off in today’s discussion is with the meaning of the word “words” as found in the Scripture “the words [G4487] that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” Because it’s that very same “Word” that the Believer must “eat and drink” in order to receive God’s promise of everlasting Life:

Word (G4487) [rhema] – from reo, to speak. A word spoken or uttered; a speech or sentence consisting of several words; a word, command; denoting the operative or all powerful word or command of God; a report, account. Rhema stands for the subject matter of the word, the thing which is spoken about.

So you see this Word [rhema] that Jesus speaks to the Believer, that will likewise bring about everlasting Life to the Believer if obeyed, is “the operative or all powerful word or command of God”. Because it’s this same command from God Almighty (“rhema” Word) that’s going to “actively overpower” (root-out and destroy) sin in the Believer’s sinful soul once the Believer has done what God has specifically (individually) commanded them to do. And just as we discussed in our sermonet “Thou Shalt Obey The Law…But Not That Law!”, this “operative or all powerful word or command of God” is not the laws contained in the Old Testament’s first five books of the Holy Bible, which even includes the Ten Commandments, but a “Living Word” that specifically directs the individual Believer on their walk for Christ!

In fact this all goes back to the discussion we had on “the Sabbath” in our last sermonet Life Through The Flesh And Blood Of Jesus! (11/28/04) The Christian “legalist” wants to believe the “day of rest” is Saturday so they can claim to obey God’s law – “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.” – by attending church on Saturday. It makes them “feel holy” (even though they’re not holy) by “thinking” they’ve obeyed the law. However, the truth of this “Sabbath day of rest” is that it is not a day of the week (Saturday) but a place in time when the Believer has allowed the Spirit of God, through obedience to His “rhema” Word, to enter into the darkest areas of their sinful soul and surgically remove the seed of Satan living inside of them:

“Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it. For we which have believed do enter into rest…For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:1-12 KJV)

Now did you catch that? Did you grab hold of Paul’s “fearful” statement concerning the very real possibility of the Believer “not believing” and missing out on God’s “Sabbath” day of rest? I mean Paul preached that the Believer should fear the consequences of “hearing the operative or all powerful word or command of God but yet not mixing it with their faith and walking out in obedience to it!” Because you see in the plain and simple of it, God Almighty wants to surgically remove sin in the Believer through the Spirit of His “rhema” Word [G4487]. However, if the Believer is not willing to suffer through the pain of “eating and drinking” that same “rhema” Word [G4487] by acting on it, that same Believer just all of the sudden becomes an Un-Believer…as promised by our Lord and Saviour in the following Scripture:

“Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, believeth not on me, but on him that sent me. And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me. I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness. And if any man hear my words [G4487], and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words [G4487] hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day. For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak. And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.” (John 12:44-50 KJV)

So now that we’ve said all that about God’s wonderful and glorious “rhema” Word [G4487], (the one that brings Life to the Believer, through judgment of the Believer’s sinful flesh, as the Believer walks in obedience to it), why do you think it’s so very hard for the Believer to obey it?

Warrior Well even though the title of this sermonet is “You’ve Asked A Hard Thing Lord!”, we could very easily have given it the title of “The Number Nineteen Crucifies The Flesh!” Because you see what I’m about to show you is how God’s “#19” Word (God’s “rhema” Word of judgment) has personally worked in my life to crucify some of my very own sinful flesh. In fact it’s through Psalms 119 (one hundred and “nineteen”) that we’re going to develop this mystery about the “number nineteen” and God’s Perfect Design in it.

So let me start off by first giving you a little history lesson on the very powerful “God-design” of Psalms 119. First of all Psalms 119 is not only the longest chapter in the book of Psalms but it’s also the longest chapter in the Holy Bible. There are 176 verses which are grouped into “8 verse” sections to make up a total of 22 sections (8 x 22 = 176). The beginning verse of each of the 22 “8 verse sections” begins with one of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet, starting with the first letter “Aleph” in verse 1 and ending with the last letter “Tav” in verse 169. And each and every one of the 176 verses “speaks” about one or more of the different characteristics of God’s “rhema” Word through one or more of the following Hebrew words:

1) Law [H8451] (torah) - From H3384; a precept or statute, especially the Decalogue or Pentateuch:
2) Way/Ways [H1870] (derek) - From H1869; a road (as trodden); figuratively a course of life or mode of action, often adverbially:
3) Testimonies [H5713/H5715] (edah/eduth) - Feminine of H5707 in its technical sense; testimony:
4) Commandment/Commandments [H4687] (mitsvah) - From H6680; a command, whether human or divine (collectively the Law):
5) Precepts [H6490] (piqqud) - From H6485; properly appointed, that is, a mandate (of God; plural only, collectively for the Law):
6) Word/Words/Whertewith [H1697] (dabar) - From H1696; a word; by implication a matter (as spoken of) of thing; adverbially a cause:
Word/Words [H565] (emrah) - The second form is the feminine of H561; something said:
7) Ordinances/Judgment/Judgments/Usest [H4941] (mishpat) - From H8199; properly a verdict (favorable or unfavorable) pronounced judicially, especially a sentence or formal decree (human or (particularly) divine law, individual or collectively), including the act, the place, the suit, the crime, and the penalty; abstractly justice, including a particular right, or privilege (statutory or customary), or even a style:
8) Surety [H6148] (arab) - A primitive root; to braid, that is, intermix; technically to traffic (as if by barter); also to give or be security (as a kind of exchange):
9) Statutes [H2706] (choq) - From H2710; an enactment; hence an appointment (of time, space, quantity, labor or usage):
10) Faithfulness/Faithful/Truth [H530] (emunah) - Feminine of H529; literally firmness; figuratively security; moral fidelity:

So you see, in general, Psalms 119 gives the reader an overall look at God’s step by step process of “Salvation through a walk of obedience to the wonderful and glorious “rhema” Words of God”. And the following excerpt from the “Keil and Delitzsch Commentary” gives us a more understandable, “short but concise” look at just how it’s all done:

“The whole Psalm is a prayer for stedfastness in the midst of an ungodly, degenerate race, and in the midst of great trouble, which is heightened by the pain he [the poet] feels at the prevailing apostasy…After the poet has praised fidelity to the word of God (Aleph), and described it as the virtue of all virtues which is of service to the young man and to which he devotes himself ( Beth), he prays, in the midst of the scoffing and persecuting persons that surround him, for the grace of enlightenment ( Gimel), of strengthening (Daleth), of preservation (He), of suitable and joyful confession (Vav); God's word is all his thought and pursuit (Zajin), he cleaves to those who fear God (Heth), and recognizes the salutary element of His humbling (Teth), but is in need of comfort (Jod) and signs: how long! (Kaph). Without the eternal, sure, mighty word of God he would despair (Lamed); this is his wisdom in difficult circumstances (Mem); he has sworn fidelity to it, and maintains his fidelity as being one who is persecuted (Nun), and abhors and despises the apostates (Samech). He is oppressed, but God will not suffer him to be crushed (Ajin); He will not suffer the doings of the ungodly, which wring from him floods of tears, to prevail over him (Phe) - over him, the small (still youthful) and despised one whom zeal concerning the prevailing godlessness is consuming away (Tsade). Oh that God would hear his crying by day and by night (Koph), would revive him speedily with His helpful pity (Resh) - him, viz., who being persecuted by princes clings fast to Him (Shin), and would seek him the isolated and so sorely imperiled sheep! (Tav).”

Now after having read all that it should be apparent that God’s step by step process of “Salvation through a walk of obedience to the wonderful and glorious “rhema” Words of God” involves lots and lots of persecution, pain, and suffering!!! I fact it’s the 9th part of this 22 part Psalm (the Hebrew letter Teth) that we’re going to specifically look at today:

“Thou hast dealt well with thy servant, O LORD, according unto thy word [H1697]. Teach me good judgment and knowledge: for I have believed thy commandments [H4687]. Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word [H565]. Thou art good, and doest good; teach me thy statutes [H2706]. The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts [H6490] with my whole heart. Their heart is as fat as grease; but I delight in thy law [H8451]. It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes [H2706]. The law [H8451] of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver. ” (Psalm 119:65-72 KJV)

So now that we’ve read the 9th part of Psalm 119, let’s go back to my earlier question of what’s so hard about “eating the Flesh, and drinking the Blood of Jesus”? I mean why do so many Christians kick, scream, and outright rebel against this “Word, that’s actually Spirit, that gives everlasting Life” to the Believer who consumes it? Just why is it that multitudes of “Christians” will choose “legalism” (obedience to the Old Testament laws), and the resulting “everlasting fiery death”, instead of “life everlasting” through the “Living Word of Jesus”?

Well the answer to my question all goes back to verse 71 of Psalms 119: “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” Because you see that one word “afflicted” has everything to do with the “persecution, pain, and suffering” that a professing Believer in Christ must be willing to endure as they “eat the Flesh and drink the Blood of Jesus” by “walking out” in obedience to God’s “rhema” Word for them. In fact Jesus, the Great Author of our Salvation Process, had to Personally experience the “persecution, pain, and suffering” in order to prepare His Body to defeat sin on the Cross…and just so that we might be able to do the same:

“Who in the days of his flesh, when he [Jesus] had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared; Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;” (Hebrews 5:7-9 KJV)

So now that you see how Jesus, the Son of God/God in the Flesh, reacted to His #19 experience, is it easier to understand why so many Christian’s actually reject God’s Life-giving “rhema” Words and become rotting-dead “legalists” instead? I mean let’s get real: crucifying the flesh ain’t no Sabbath picnic!!!

Now before I share with you a few of my very own #19 experiences, let’s take a closer look at the origin of the number “19”. Because what we’ll find in the Hebrew is that in order to get to the number “19” we have to first start with the number “9” and then add the “teen” to it (nine-teen):

Nine [H8672] (tesha tishah) - The second form is the masculine of the first; perhaps from H8159 through the idea of a turn to the next or full number ten; nine or (ordinal) ninth: - nine (+ -teen, + -teenth, -th).

Teen [H6240] (asar) - For H6235; ten (only in combination), that is, the “teens”; also (ordinal) a “teenth”: - [eigh-, fif-, four-, nine-, seven-, six-, thir-] teen (-th), + eleven (-th), + sixscore thousand, + twelve (-th).

So now do you see the significance of the number “9” as it applies to the number “19”? Well probably not, so let’s take this word search just a little bit further by investigating where the Hebrew word for “nine” (tesha) actually came from:

H8159 [shaah] - A primitive root; to gaze at or about (properly for help); by implication to inspect, consider, compassionate, be nonplussed (as looking around in amazement) or bewildered: - depart, be dim, be dismayed, look (away), regard, have respect, spare, turn.

Now do you see the significance of the number “9” as it applies to the number “19”? Well just in case you don’t, please let me help you out. The number “9” is symbolic of the preparation needed to move up to the next level of numbers, from 1-9 to 10-19, by adding 10 to the previous set of numbers. And, as the Hebrew points out, the number “9” represents the feelings of being “nonplussed”, or in simpler terms “confused, thrown, baffled, bewildered, puzzled, stumped, mystified, and perplexed.”

So are you starting to see the BIG picture? I mean anyway you look at it, this number “9” is anything but a “warm and fuzzy” type of “good feeling” number! And just to think, if this lower level “9” causes so much “anxiety” over the anticipated move, what kind of feelings do you suppose that next higher level “19” will bring about?

Well even though the “anxiety” of the “9” at the “19” level will not be diminished, the great thing about addressing this “anxiety” at the higher level is that the “10” has been added to it. And by going back to the Hebrew we discover that this “10” has the following very positive meaning: “to accumulate; chiefly (specifically) to grow (causatively make) rich”.

So what do you think about them apples? At first glance it appears that the number “10” will bring about “great wealth and riches” ($$$$$$). And furthermore, by combining the meanings of number “9” and number “10” together, we can logically come up with the meaning of number “19” to be that of “anxiety that brings about great wealth and riches ($$$$$$)”. However, the truth to this mystery of “growing rich” through “persecution, pain, and suffering for Christ” goes a whole lot deeper than that! And we can find out just how deep in the following Scripture from the book of Romans:

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:14-18 KJV)

So now do you understand what this “mystery of growing rich through persecution, pain, and suffering” is all about? Well what Paul said in those five short verses is “all those who believe in Jesus Christ the Son of God (Believers), and likewise suffer with Him and for Him through obedience to His Word [rhema], are sons and daughters of God and recipients of Father God’s great wealth!” I mean after all, when it comes to this thing about “God’s great wealth”, everything – the universe and beyond – belongs to Him!!!

Glory!!! What a promise!!!…but yet what a commitment!!! I mean if anyone seriously considers the part about “For as many as are led [G71] by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God” they must seriously consider what being “led by the Spirit” is all about! Because, once again, seeing how Jesus was our Great Example, the First Begotten, Who overcame the sin of the world through His total and complete obedience to the Word [rhema - #19] of His Father, we must look closely at where the Spirit of God [#19 “rhema” Word] led Jesus:

“And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led [G71] by the Spirit into the wilderness, Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered. And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread…And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.” (Luke 4:1-3 and 13 KJV)

So now that you’ve read that particular Scripture, can you kinda-sorta grab hold of what I said earlier about “crucifying the flesh ain’t no Sabbath picnic!!!”? I mean after all, it was this “#19 command” from the Father that “led” Jesus into the “wild and wicked wilderness” just so He could go without food for forty (40) days in order to be tempted by the Devil to sin against God. And of course the first temptation that the mean old Devil hit Him with, after forty (40) days with no food I might add, was the temptation of FOOD!!!

Pretty painful stuff don’t you think? Well, as a means of helping you “grab hold” to this Word “led”, what do you say we take it on back to the Greek:

Led (G71) [ago] - A primary verb; properly to lead; by implication to bring, drive, (reflexively) go, (specifically) pass (time), or (figuratively) induce: - be, bring (forth), carry, (let) go, keep, lead away, be open.

So now do you feel the “bloody-raw power” of that one Word “led”? I don’t think so!!! In fact let’s try again through yet another account of Jesus’ number “19” wilderness experience:

“Then was Jesus led up [G321] of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil…Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.” (Matthew 4:1 and 11 KJV)

Led up (G321) [anago] - From G303 and G71; to lead up; by extension to bring out; specifically to sail away: - bring (again, forth, up again), depart, launch (forth), lead (up), loose, offer, sail, set forth, take up.

So now are you starting to feel the “anxiety” that’s associated with the number “19”? I mean after having been tested by Satan “in all points” through three powerful temptations, it was necessary for the Son of God (Jesus) to be ministered to by His holy angels. And you see these angels not only attended to Jesus’ needs with physical food, but they also comforted Him with supernatural spiritual support and encouragement. I mean without a doubt, Jesus was both weak and wearied after that brutal number “19” experience!

Now even though this thing about “#19 anxiety” should be abundantly clear by now, it probably ain’t! So what do you say we take it one step further with just on more account of Jesus’ number “19” wilderness experience:

“And immediately the Spirit driveth [G1544] him into the wilderness. And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him.” (Mark 1:12-13 KJV)

Driveth (G1544) [ekballo] - From G1537 and G906; to eject (literally or figuratively): - bring forth, cast (forth, out), drive (out), expel, leave, pluck (pull, take, thrust) out, put forth (out), send away (forth, out).

OK, so did that help clear up any doubt or confusion concerning the “bloody-raw power” behind God’s “rhema” Word for Jesus? I mean is there any doubt in your mind that Jesus felt “confused, thrown, baffled, bewildered, puzzled, stumped, mystified, and perplexed” after receiving the forceful Word that “thrust” Him into the wilderness of Satan? Well the bottom line Truth behind the number “19” experience – the one that every Believer must be willing to walk into – is that it is violent!!! And likewise, it’s the force associated with that one word “eject” that should “driveth” my point on home to you!

And having said all that, it’s time to take a look at some of the “#19 adventures” that God the Father has commanded me to experience…which miraculously and supernaturally fell on the 19th of the following calendar months:

April the 19th, 1991

It was only a few years after having “given it all up for Jesus” by making Him “Lord and Saviour” of my life, that the Almighty God (blessed be He) commanded me to minister to the youth. So in obedience to Father God’s “#19” [rhema] Word for me, we incorporated the FMH Children’s Club International in the state of South Carolina on the 19th of April, 1991. And even though I felt “confused, thrown, baffled, bewildered, puzzled, stumped, mystified, and perplexed” about our newly founded “All For The Love Of Jesus” ministry, I was able (through the Power of God Almighty) to just do as I had been told to do.

Because you see it was right about that point in my “walk with Christ” that I couldn’t even speak the Name of Jesus, much less preach it! In fact I was so bound up by the “deaf and dumb spirit” of Satan that my “confessing the Name of Jesus” was limited to the simple act of including our motto “All For The Love Of Jesus” on the FMHCCI stationary and business cards. And, believe it or not, I would actually flinched in fear each and every time I sent out a letter or gave out a business card. I mean I was scared spitless over the thought of what people might “think and say” about my association with Jesus!

Then it was shortly thereafter (10/17/91 to be exact) that the Lord had us go public with the FMHCCI ministry by openly announcing it through one of the local newspapers (see Early Beginnings). What a bold step of faith that was! However, it was only a few days later that I would experience Satan’s extreme opposition to it. Because it was on 11/04/91 that Marta, our oldest teenage daughter (the one shown in the back row of the Hallman family picture in the Sun News article), brought “child abuse” charges against both my wife Annie and me. You see Marta wanted her freedom (she wanted to do as she pleased), and this was Satan’s suggested method for her to accomplish it.

But of course that was only “in the beginning” of this “#19 experience” with the FMHCCI ministry. I mean there have been many very “anxious” moments during this great thirteen-year adventure, which even includes being fired from The Toro Company for handing out one of these FMHCCI letters.

September the 19th, 1993

Then it was right in the midst of all the legal problems that resulted from Marta’s “child abuse” charges that God Almighty gave us another #19 command. Because on 9/19/93 Father God instructed the Hallman family to “Move to Texas and don’t turn back!” And it was only after my employer granted me a job transfer to Juarez (Mexico) that we (my son Luis and me) headed out to Texas on 12/27/93. In fact the agreement that I had with Annie was that we would find a ranch in Texas while she and the remaining children stayed behind in South Carolina to sell the farm. And the real kicker about Annie’s being “left behind” was that it was her idea! Because what I discovered only a few months later – after my relocation to Texas – was that Annie had no intentions of moving after all. You see Annie wanted to be allowed to do as she pleased, and this was Satan’s suggested method for her to get rid of me.

August the 19th, 1996

So after almost three years of being separated from my lovely wife Annie, the Lord gave me just another #19 command: “Change jobs!” Because you see even though I was the one who asked my employer for the transfer to Mexico, the parent company back in South Carolina (AVX) would have transferred me back…that is if I would have only asked. However, as much as I would have liked to get back with my wife in SC, the Lord saw to it that my commitment of “not turning back” became “rock solid” through a job change. And it was only a few months after having been hired by The Toro Company that the Lord used me as a prophet to speak a Word to the CEO, Mr. Ken Melrose. Then, as the Lord would have it, I got fired on 3/25/99 for speaking what “Thus Saith The Lord!” (See our sermonets The Big Snake Slithers Out Of The Woodpile! (3/21/99) and The Big Snake Makes A Strike! (3/28/99) for more details.)

October the 19th, 2000

Well after having been fired for speaking God’s Word to the CEO of The Toro Company, the Lord let me know that I wouldn’t be getting a job until He got me my job back with that same company. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the Lord commanded me to confess it to the whole world…which even including my lovely wife Annie back in South Carolina. (See our sermonet Without A Job…But God’s Got A Plan! (4/25/99) for more details.)

However, seeing how Annie’s marriage to me was all about cash flow ($$$$$$), it wasn’t too long after I lost my job as “Engineering Manager” that the cash stopped flowing…and Annie sent out her divorce packet. In fact it was on the 19th of October, 2000, that an officer of the law knocked on my apartment door and served me with Annie’s divorce…which was the beginning of just another one of God’s #19 adventures.

Because you see God’s plan for Annie’s divorce was just another big #19 test for me. Would I submit to His Will concerning her divorce…and regardless of the outcome? Well even though Annie’s divorce should have been thrown out of Court the minute it was processed, the Lord commanded me to hire a lawyer that would not defend me. I mean go figure! And as a result of my “illegal” misrepresentation, Annie’s “lies and half truths” sailed right on through the legal system with flying colors. (See our sermonet A Christian’s Divorce! (2/19/04) for more details.)

June the 19th, 2001

And then on the 19th of June, 2001, the real excitement began. Because it was on that fateful day (the 19th) that the Horry Family Court awarded an unmerciful amount of child support, alimony, legal fees, and property to my lovely ex-wife Annie. And seeing how God Almighty commanded me not to obey any of the demands of Annie’s very illegal divorce, I entered yet another one of my very uncomfortable #19 journeys. In fact it was shortly thereafter (5/20/02) that I not only lost my apartment but I also truly became “homeless for Jesus”! (See our sermonets A Christian’s Divorce! (2/19/04) and Charles Nieman’s ‘Abundant Living Faith’ Is Dead! (5/27/03) for more details.)

September the 19th, 2003

Now even though Annie did me much wrong during our 25 year long marriage, I was willing to continue our marriage…and regardless of the separation. However, once the Court ruled on Annie’s behalf, Father God told me that my marriage with Annie was not only over with, but done, finished, and ended! Then the Lord followed it up by telling me that He would be the One to Personally pick my next wife. Glory!!!

Well it was on the 19th of September, 2003, while still in a homeless condition I might add, that Father God fulfilled His Promise by commanding me to propose to Sandy – after having known her for only seven (7) days – and do it because we were already married in Heaven. Then as God would have it, it was on the following day, 9/20/03, that Sandy and I were officially but yet unofficially married on earth. (See our sermonet A Christian Marriage Outside The Law! (12/28/03) for more details.)

October the 19th, 2003

Glory be to God, I finally had the wife that Father God had chosen especially for me! One who not only loved the Lord, but one who likewise ministered in the Holy Spirit with grace and power. In fact Sandy’s “gifts in the Lord” made her the perfect candidate to perform as an “altar worker” in churches. And it was because of this gift, and the many different churches that she had been affiliated with during her Christian walk, that the Lord chose one church in particular – the one that He promised would one day be her’s – to put Sandy to her #19 test.

Because you see it was on the 19th of October, 2003, that Father God commanded Sandy to openly show her commitment as my new wife by submitting herself to me before the entire congregation of that particular church. And, as Father God had instructed, Sandy and I were to stand at the altar with me facing the congregation and Sandy facing me. She would then kneel before me and recite Psalms 51 as I read it from the Holy Bible. This was what God had commanded Sandy to do, but you see Sandy just wasn’t able to “mix that ‘rhema’ Word with her faith” and see it through. And because Sandy failed her very crucial #19 test, the Devil was able to overcome her shortly thereafter…and the resulting sermonet A Christian Marriage Outside The Law! (12/28/03) became a necessity. (See also our sermonet My Natural Wife Was Annie…But My Spiritual Wife Is Sandy! (3/14/04) for more details.)

So my lovely wife Sandy failed to complete her #19 test on the 19th of October. Then it was on December the 10th, 2003, after Sandy had allowed Satan to separate God’s chosen couple, that Sister Kathy gave me “the dream” about Sandy. You see in her dream Sister Kathy saw Sandy in her (Kathy’s) living room, where we normally held Friday night prayer meetings, standing at a podium and preaching on the 4th chapter of Deuteronomy. However, Sister Kathy said that before Sandy gave her message she made the announcement that “the Brother has released me”…and the “Brother” she was talking about just so happened to be me.

So just what did it all mean?

Well it goes without saying that God works in many strange ways! Because you see the interpretation of this dream has everything to do with this message and my wife’s failed #19 test. And as the Lord would have it, He didn’t give me the understanding of this dream until the writing of this message…and just so I could use it to make a very important “#19 point”.

Because it was shortly after Sandy and I become “one in marriage” that the Lord gave her the instruction of “If you leave Bruce you will surely die!” Now, without a doubt, that was one more strong #19 command from the Almighty to Sandy! I mean that’s one of those Words that should make the knees knock uncontrollably with fear and trembling! However, in Sandy’s case, God’s “rhema” Word of “Don’t leave Bruce” was overshadowed by the “legalistic” ways of her past. In other words Sandy allowed her family and friends to use “the law” to separate us. They said we weren’t truly married but only “shacking up”, and, because of the resulting “#19 anxiety”, Sandy decided to disobey God’s Word and separate from her husband “Brother Bruce”.

So you see it was Sandy who decided to pull back from the suffering she was called to do, but it was in “Kathy’s dream” that the Almighty had Sandy preaching His “Word of correction” to herself:

“Now therefore hearken, O Israel, unto the statutes and unto the judgments, which I teach you, for to do them, that ye may live, and go in and possess the land which the LORD God of your fathers giveth you. Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.” (Deuteronomy 4:1-2 KJV)

“For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.” (Deuteronomy 4:24 KJV)

“Know therefore this day, and consider it in thine heart, that the LORD he is God in heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else. Thou shalt keep therefore his statutes, and his commandments, which I command thee this day, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee, and that thou mayest prolong thy days upon the earth, which the LORD thy God giveth thee, for ever.” (Deuteronomy 4:39-40 KJV)

God’s “command, statute, and judgement” to Sandy was “Don’t separate yourself from Bruce!” And even though she has died many spiritual deaths since her separation, God in His mercy is going to bring her back to me soon and very soon. God has promised it!!! (See our sermonet A Christian Marriage Outside The Law! (12/28/03) for more details.)

April the 29th, 2004

Now, seeing how we’ve already covered both the “9” and “19”, it’s time to move on up to that next higher level “29”. Because you see by going back to it’s Hebrew meaning, we can discover an amazing thing about the number 20 – it’s twice that of the number 10. And of course seeing how the “10” means “to accumulate or grow rich”, that must mean the “20” will make you twice as rich. So by combining the “20” with the “9” we come up with the #29 and it’s meaning of “the persecution, pain, and suffering for Christ (anxiety) that will bring about double the great wealth and riches in the Kingdom of God!”

And having said all that I can now fill you in on the details of my #29 experience. Because it was on the 29th of April, 2004, while driving my truck in El Paso (Texas), that I was pulled over, handcuffed, and arrested for obeying God’s #29 “rhema” Word for me. You see my ex-wife Annie had signed a warrant for my arrest because I had not obeyed the Horry County Family Court ruling in her divorce. And of course the one thing that she wanted out of her divorce was everything that I owned…with the 80-acre farm being the only thing of value remaining ($$$$$$). However, as the police were transporting me back to South Carolina to stand trial, Father God gave me His #29 command of “Don’t sign the papers!” And of course the papers that I was commanded “not to sign” were the papers which would have turned the farm over to Annie and released me from jail.

But glory be to God that I didn’t give in to my “#29 anxiety” and sign the papers. Because you see I made up my mind that I would rather “rot in jail” than disobey the Almighty’s #29 command to me. And as a result of my obedience, Father God supernaturally delivered me from the hands of the enemy on the 20th of August, 2004. I suffered as a prisoner of Christ for almost four (4) months…and then Jesus set me free!. (See our sermonet series Jesus Was An Outlaw…And So Am I! (9/19/04) for more details.)

So now do you understand why we entitled this sermonet “You’ve Asked A Hard Thing Lord!”? Now do you understand why there’s bunches of “legalistic Christians” out there who find the Old Testament “law” much easier to chew, swallow, and digest than “The Law” of the New Testament? Now do you understand why most “Christians” would rather “die and go to Hell” than “Eat the Flesh and drink the Blood of Jesus”?

And now that this “painful Truth” has been told, the following Scripture should take on a whole new meaning for professing followers of Christ (Believers):

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 KJV)

So the question still remains: How Do You Want Your Fire…Now Or Later?

In closing, please allow me to encourage all of you to just “Keep On Keeping The Faith In Jesus!!!”

Love,

Dad (Bruce Hallman)

PS:

A few days after the writing of this sermonet, Brother Alan brought to mind Matthew 19:29...the glorious promise of God's "rewards" for having obeyed His #19 and #29 "commands":

"And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." (Matthew 19:29 KJV)